Finally home

I can't express how it feels to not only finally be home, but feel well enough to be writing this :) On Friday, I met with the occupational and physical therapists and really pushed myself to get clearance to come home. I had a feeling they wouldn't work on weekends, and to not come home until Monday would be devastating. I really turned a corner on Thursday and was feeling a little better. I'll be honest, I don't remember much other than pain from the time I woke up on Monday through Wednesday evening. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced or could ever imagine, I seriously wished death upon myself at some point on Wednesday and truly believed I couldn't handle anymore. I was so disappointed in my lack of strength to endure anymore, and then I woke up Thursday, and it really wasn't so bad anymore. I thank God for that! The kids were FINALLY able to come see me, and that gave me even more strength, and by Friday, I was a determined woman, I wanted to come home. And as my mom told me on the phone yesterday when I asked her how she did it for so long, she said it was because she didn't feel better, and when you don't feel so good, you're not ready to go home so you don't want to. That made sense, because I was feeling better.

The neurosurgeon would have the final say, and they make their rounds VERY early. Each time they had come, I had been sleeping and they were concerned about my alertness and ability to bounce back from the anesthesia and pain meds. There was even some talk of putting me in a rehab facility; over my dead body...so when he came in, I perked up, smiled and said hello, looking as alert as I possibly can at 7:45 a.m. (I'm not a morning person). He was a bit taken back, did his tests, and then told me exactly what I wanted to hear...I could go home today or tomorrow, he saw no reason for me to stay any longer. I said I'd go home today and practically jumped out of bed to pack up before i realized there was some paperwork involved, and they should probably take the line out of my artery in my wrist first.

Mike was there and helped me pack up my things and get me settled here at home. Taking a shower was heavenly. This may be too much info, but you must be wondering. Yes, I can wash my hair, and I just have to pat the back of my head dry as to not catch any of the 15 stitches running from my neck about 7" up my head. They shaved WAY more hair than I was expecting too, but it will grow back. The kids came over after, and Reagan's face lit up when she saw me. I was sitting on the couch in normal clothes, and I left my hair down after my shower, so no shaved head/ugly scar were visible, I looked like mom again. She came right to my side, hugged and kissed me, and held my hand. Charlie also came and hugged and kissed me. I noticed him looking at all of the injection sights, tape marks, bruises, etc, but I tried to smile and get him to look at my face, because that hadn't changed. He asked Reagan if she wanted to play. She replied , "Um, in case you didn't know, I haven't seen my mom in like a week, so I'm staying right here". He then crawled up on the couch and we all watched tv; it was perfect :)

Bill went to get my prescriptions and some food for me before coming to get them, and I have just been chilling here ever since. I tried to cook myself dinner last night, but it's not easy standing for a long time. My head feels like it weighs 70 pounds. They had to cut the muscles in my neck and stretch them out and back, and that's mainly what needs to heal and loosen up. It feels like a bunch of really tight rubber bands. I can barely turn my head, and holding it up for a long time is hard, so I need to rest a lot. It's kind of lonely being here all alone, but if the kids were here, I'm not sure I could manage on my own. They are coming tomorrow for the day and staying the night, and my aunt will come as well. I'm really looking forward to go to their activities again. I missed Reagan's softball game and a swim meet, Charlie's first T-ball practice of the season, but I'm hoping not to miss anything else.

I'm looking forward to Mike coming to visit me tonight :) He probably had a rougher week than I did on some levels. So many of you have acknowledged what a wonderful job he did with keeping up with the Blog, rightfully so, but I want to also thank him for constantly being by my side during the toughest week of my life. I so appreciate everything he did for me, from feeding me ice chips to reading me all of your encouraging messages to sleeping on a chair using my robe as a blanket. Thanks to all of you for your support and gratitude, it means a lot. He also has a full time job and 2 kids, so juggling all of that really wore him out. He has to travel this week for work on top of everything else; I'm not sure how he does it, but I hope he's having a well-deserved Happy Father's Day :)